2011

We can't change our nature

No matter how scared and sad I was. I still can't understand why I must sufer like this. I always needed only one thing: peace an quiet, but I never get it. When you live in a cage with hungry tigers, you must be quiet or attack them to escape. But I fought this time and now feel scared, locked in deepest corner of that cage, can't run from tigers, they wil catch me and eat. And I sit that dark thinking how my life should be.

I thought that my life was bad...

Broken Angel

Old forest... Old like my soul. I stop in middle of it, look at the sky. I want to scream: help me! But I don't do that. Even tears are washing my cheeks, I'm still strong. My soul is looking for something to relax, for something to stop breaking into pieces. And just silent sounds of wind and birds are singing silent song of sadness. And this sadness talks with my lips: I'm not bad, I'm just scared and lost... I need to find way from this misery... So many questions again spin in...

From one coast to another

My feet drowned in sand and stopped. It was just early evening. Sun went to sleep and woke me up. Along with me woke painful memories. I sighed and went to beach. Decided to sit and and think what I have in this life. It was warm and silent evening. Waves fondled my feet, wind gently kissed my cheeks and sea... sea which never ends. I closed my eyes and tried to feel all feelings in me, but they just started to tear me apart. I touched my place where it was my heart,...

The Pain

The pain which kills me
Never ends.
I must to love and with it be
It never to me bends.

I close my eyes and see
More pain and more betraying.
No, you won't see me on my knee
From pain crying.

Hate me, kill me- I don't care.
Kiss me, love me- I can't feel.
Treat me, hit me- I don't feel fear,
But I still can't with it deal.

I feel huge pain, but can't it feel
I don't cry, I don't yell,
But my heart...

Enraged ><

I am so enraged......>< I just hate role players who think they are Gods of RP. I better know how I play, I am best in my own way....and some f*cking secret FBI group took my calmness second day in a row. STUPID FACEBOOK. They dare to call me "unrealistic, not honouring VC". Well I'm not honouring these books, I create my charcater the way I LIKE, not looking at books. >< My Lestat is unique, I made him the way HE SUPPOSE TO BE. And some idiots in facebook...

Loneliness

I walked to graveyard from home all in black clothes. Night hid my sadness from all world. I still couldn't believe what happened... She left me after I gave my heart to her... I was hiding my sorrow, but in empty graveyard I screamed from pain and laid on the cold ground. Here nobody will see me and my tears. I must get home cold as ice without such feelings which tear me apart. Happy and loving Lestat is gone? My soul gone, my heart broke... Only empty black hole in my chest which...