2011 May (2nd decade)

[Lestat de Lioncourt]

May 16-31

We can't change our nature

No matter how scared and sad I was. I still can't understand why I must suffer like this. I always needed only one thing: peace an quiet, but I never get it. When you live in a cage with hungry tigers, you must be quiet or attack them to escape. But I fought this time and now feel scared, locked in deepest corner of that cage, can't run from tigers, they wil catch me and eat. And I sit that dark thinking how my life should be.

I thought that my life was bad before, I was wrong, it was like in fairy tale. I had home, love, friends, family, money, I lived like Prince in my golden castle. But one day I felt so lonely and hurt by my "happiness" that dreamed how to escape to world and live like ordinary human, escape my "cruel" aristocratic parents. I wanted to be independent from everyone, that was my dream. And that day came when this Prince ran from all "free" life. Prince got job, started to live by his own, but... Where was that happiness of freedom? There wasnt any happiness in ordinary people world. In that Prince still lives aristocratic soul. He needed to be dependent again, to get money for nothing, to live all days like he wanted and do what he wanted without any worries about anything. But he couldn't come back to that life. Future became dark, every day tears and wish to be Prince again. But Prince was spoiled and uneducated kid who wanted to have all government and money in the world, but this pour child always was afraid of other kids in school, ran away, cried and dreamed to kill them all night. That fear overwhelmed him and controled his every step. He needed to go forward back to "school", just he couldn't cross 'school" lines...he cried every night thinking of that, he wanted to die, but was too sissy to kill himself. But inside heart that Prince was talented, he could do anything: he loved, languages, creating clothes, drawing, walking in hospital and listening to science people talks, he loved to play piano, to help people, and the most he loved to write and create peotry... and many other things. He was lost in all talents that started to hate them all. But no matter what he still enhoyed all things in life, just his King and Queen started to ask him chose ONE THING from all his passions. Poor Prince felt again unhappy and treid to run from reality in all ways. He was active, so hyper, wanting to taste to all life, that every day he did new stuff, he also was good actor and every day he was other person, One day he cried, another laughed, he was so changable person, that his Queen and King hated that so much and tried to make him chose one thing and get "calm". Prince couldn't chose one talent, he again loved all his gifts, he wanted to be many persons at one time, and Famly didn't want that.

So, poor Prince started to read more and more books, closed inside him, didn't talk with his Family, they got more and more angry at him, and he began to feel more and more sad. In his head was million questions: How to chose one talent if I have thousand? How to become calm, if I'm chaotic? How to hide emotions, if I'm emotional? How to start lieying if I always say truth? And Prince lived like on needles, not knowing when Family will attack him again.

But one day he found book about human's nature. He read it and understood that he was born like this, he can't change who he is. Just how to say that to Family? They would never understand. Prince got even more sad and drowned in melancholia. He understaood that he has aristocratic soul, he needs to live free and do all stuff he likes to let his talents grow. But no matter what he thought, Family attacked him more and more often, that he became aggressive, he couldn'tstop fighting with them, and every time he was the one who cried alone in darkness.

That's how King and Queen became tigers who locked their Prince with them and attacks him every day, and Prince can only sit and cry couldn't escape from that prison. But his soul needs to fly...his soul wants to show all beauty he has behind that dark outside. Prince doesn't need any "teachers", any "schools", Prince just needs freedom to show his talents, he doesn't need any proving of his talents in documents, he feels that in heart that he is gifted enough and he can reach his happiness by his own...Just tigers don't let him live, they scare him...

And maybe one day that Prince will find biggest passion, maybe one day he will go on one way...only if tigers would stop attacking him and making do what he doesn't want... Prince just needs time.... He is fallen angel who needs to grow his wings again....


~Sick of crying, tired of trying. Yeah, I'm smiling, but inside I'm dying....~






May 16

‎I decided to visit my uncle Marius. Missed him so much, so knocked on his door for a small chat:
- Marius? Are you home?
Marius opened the door, about to take a walk in his gardens and found me on his steps instead. He smiled warmly and said:
- It's been a long time, Lestat. What brings you to my home?
I got even more cheerful and happy to see Marius after so many time not seeing him, I gave hand and smiled:
- Hello, my dear. I was just wondering where you were gone and decided to drop a visit.
Marius welcomed me into the mansion, stepping aside so I could come in:
-I have had a few rough nights. Wrestling down my demon, if you will. I'm sorry I've been away so long.
I rised an eyebrow and came in wondering what Marius changed in his home from last visit:
- Demon? What means your boyfriend or something very spiritual?
Marius closed the door quietly and bowed his head, his now short locks barely covering his eyes:
- I mean the monster that every vampire holds within himself. I nearly killed Amadeo..
I got a little pale:
- Marius? You almost killed Armand?... Now I know what you mean.- I found nice armchair and sat in it feeling comfortable.- Your hair? What did you do? Cut?- I laughed loud.- They will grow back sooner or later.
Marius laughed loudly and ran his finger through his hair:
- Yes, I know, but I needed some sort of change.
I winked and put legs on Marius's table:
- I know, sometimes I die my hair brown, but for some hours.- I again laughed and waved to Marius to come closer and join me on sofa.- Come. I'm bored at home, I need company.
Marius pulled a chair closer to the table and knocked my dirty shoes off the said table:
- How are you bored? Do you not have a child and wife at home?
I smiled devilish and again put legs on table teasing Marius:
- Of course I have them, but my son I see loves to live alone. He is a loner like me. Always plays alone in his room and speaks more french than english.- I rolled finger to my temple.-Crazy kid.
Marius scowled and knocked my feet off the table once again:
- Well, how about your family taking a trip? I plan taking Hiero to Ireland.
I again put legs on table laughing a little:
- No trip for us. My wife is gone somewhere. Maybe hunting.- I shrugged and shook feet a little to drop mud on table from shoes.- I can say, I just now found time for you, they took all my spare time.
Marius growled and grabed my feet, lifting my legs up and over and causing the vampire's chair to fall over backwards with the vampire in it.
I closed eyes when Marius took my legs and felt how I flew somewhere, then opened eyes and saw where I was. Still in chairm, but a little far from Marius:
- Well? What we talked about?- I put chair on floor like nothing happened and put legs on Marius luxurious chair, shoes on expensive seat and sat in lotus pose.
- I'm going to rip your hair out if you don't take your feet off my furniture!!
I smiled widely looking at Marius and rubbed feet a little to chair:
- Ohhh... Poor furniture, isn't it? Since when you got so in love with material things like me?
- They're ANTIQUES!- he shoved me off the chair again.
I smiled idiotic and stood up, then went to sofa and rubbed feet on carpet smiling devilish:
- You can't imagine how I like when you are angry.
- Ach!- Marius flew at me and tackled me onto the floor.- Stop ruining my things!
I looked at Marius smiling:
- Things, things, things... Where all souls things gone?- I put my hand in pocket where I was hiding chocolate and it now was warm, slippy, so I put hand in pocket full of chocolate and tapped Marius nose leaving brown spots, and then cleaned hand on Marius shirt.- How nice you look.- I laughed loud.- So funny you are.
Marius went white with anger. But instead of attacking me, he stood and walked into the bathroom to change out of his now ruined white suit.
I stood up laughing and followed Marius:
- Now... you will dance a striptize for me?- I sat on floor and watched how he changed shirt.- I made art, can't you see, brown with white, it's elegant.


May 18

‎Isabella walked through long corridor in coven house, surrounded by dark, only candle flames showed the color of her dress-red...bare shoulder dress. She went looking for her love. I felt how Isabella looked for me and hid book that she wouldn't see it. Stood up from armchair and went to see her:
- Honey? WOW... You looks so beautiful...
She saw me walking through the door, heard my voice, hid smile and a light blush on her cheeks.
I hugged her and kissed her red cheeks:
- Oh no.. Don't blush, love. You are so beautiful, red suit for you perfectly.
- Thank you, my love.- she smiled to me warmly, touched my golden locks.- I missed you....
I closeed eyes and smiled:
- I missed you too, love. I thought you were hunting, right? Well, I was bored too... – I thought about that book hidden and begged for God that she wouldn't find it.
- I was with your son, he is so lovely like you.- she touched my face gently and smiled looking into the room I left.- What you were doing?
- Awww... – I blushed.- I bet he is. But he is so lonely kid, likes to play with toys and doesn't need us.- I got a little scared.- Oh no... nothing...nothing at all... Just sitting.
Isabella giggled thinking about Lestat Junior, and suddenly got serious looking into my eyes:
- Hmm you seem so mysterious, tell me, love.- she pushed me to wall slowly touching my chest trough blouse.- You know how I can get the truth out of you....you might enjoy it.- she whispered.
I looked at her with wide eyes and felt how her hands rubbed my chest slowly, so good and warm.... Mmmm....:
- I'm mysterous because... I don't want anybody to know what I'm doing alone...
- Mmmhmm...- she rubbed her lips to mine and held me in her arms.- I'd like to solve that mystery....- she smiled naughty.
I smiled:
- I think it must be secret.... – I pulled her to sofa and sat on her, thinking that, that book won't fall from sofa.- I like to be mysterious...
- Uhhhhh so quickly on me.- she smiled naughty holding on the sofa feeling me on top.- I leave you for a while and you go naughty by yourself.- she giggled hard.
I blew curl form face:
- Why should I go naughty with myself alone?- I winked.- I didn't do anything naughty here, not a single thought of bad things.
Isabella leaned forward closer to my lips:
- But now..... your head is full of naughty things...
I shook head:
- Nope.- I caressed her cheek.- Absolutely not. Pure and nice thoughts.
Isabella smiled:
- So pure and you are still one me, love.- she smiled feeling my touch on cheek.
I sat on sofa and hugged her, not sitting on her anymore:
- I'm not so bad as you think... I just sit on you..it's nothing wrong.
- I know it's not wrong. –she hugged me back.
- Well? So, what are you up to tonight?- I tapped her nose smiling.- You came here and started to take my secrets from me... next wthat?
- Oh yes...the secret, I think it's somewhere here.- she giggled looking into my eyes.
- In my eyes?- I looked confused and lost.- Dear?... What are going to do?
- No silly. I meant in this room. Did you read something?- she asked curiously.
I got scared and looked more pale than usual:
- No.....
- Ohhh..- she tapped my nose.- So you did.- she smiled.- Relax, dear, you are so pale, care for a drink?
I shook head and crouched turning from her:
- No.. I didn't.. Really...
- It's nothing wrong to read, dear.- she hugged me.
- Nooo.. It's bad, very bad...- I hugged knees and put head on them.- Very bad....
Isabella rubbed my back:
- Shhhhh, my dear
- What?- I pouted.- What did I say?
- Ahh, I thought you were crying, you hide your face...it's ok.
- No, I'm not crying, but I can...
- No, I don't want you to be upset.- she hugged me.
- Well, I was, and tried to calm down, but I just changed when I saw you, smiled and hugged you that you wouldn't think that I am dumb.


May 24

I was admiring night sky. I matured one spot on ground. Sat next to that and thought what to plant here. Jumped up and ran to take shovel, after some minutes returned and started to dig hole. Dig huge hole looked at it and thoght who could help to decide what tree to buy, which could make all mansion more beautiful. Remembered that Aixa had good taste in many things so yelled on all mansion:
- AIXA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aixa was reading, calmly, sitting on the floor of the bathroom, one of her favourites places. Suddenly a shout made her came back from the sea of words she was drowned in, and with a fast jump, she went down the stairs to find her dad. Strange it was to hear me calling for her, as it had been a long time since I needed her for anything. The black skirt she was wearing lifted a bit as she was falling on the floor, subtle as a nymph:
- DAD? WHAT HAPPENED?
I took deep sigh and rolled eyes looking at my clumsy daughter. Leaned on shovel and smiled at her:
- Get up and help me plant some tree in garden. These annoy me, I want something new.- but suddenly felt compassion for her and walked closer to help her stand on her legs, offering my hand:
- Now take my hand and wash that dirt from yourself.
She smiling took my hand, enjoying the touch of my skin. Many nights had passed since she last touched me, or even saw me. When her legs could get straight, she realized she was too close to me... the intimacy overwhelmed her, making her give a step back:
- Ehhmm... I'm fine, don't worry. New trees you said? Oh, what a coincidence! Last night I saw a beautiful tree with amazing colours. i just have to remember the name...- doubtful, she put a finger between her eyebrows, a common gesture she usually did when she tried to remember something.
I smiled at her looking how she got embarrased about my hand touch, but I felt so good that she still felt some passion for me and when she stood back, I hid hands behind back like shy school boy leaning head to shoulder and rubbing one foot on ground:
- Well, I bought some bushes and trees, maybe there will be your colorful plant too.- took shovel again to hands and went to take all plants from other side of he mansion. Going thought about her. Why she was so intimited by me? If my hand touch was so warm? Or I just looked a little rebeld this time with messed hair from work? Any way shook head and took three trees, some bushes and box full of flowers. Came back to her put everything on ground.- Look. These are plants I bought today.
Aixa was putting all her weight on her ankles, she sat on the floor, reading the packs a little distracted. With a gesture, she invited me to sit beside her, pretending a concentration face:
- Mmmm, but what do you plan to do, dad? Remodelate the whole garden? I saw many plants, trees and all that stuff but I doubt you'll like my ideas... I guess they're too dark for your taste.- gracefully, she hid one of her black tufts behind her ear.
I sat next to her and touched leaves of flowers gently looking at them and took one out of plastic bag showing her:
- Well, we will plant some new stuff here. I miss fowers, I miss all nice stuff, plus it's almost summer and you know what? In my town where I was born, always were so many flowers at spring, that I could lay in fields like in soft bed...- I smelt flower and put it again in box.- And I really like flowers. Plus like you said, I won't like dark plants, I need colorful ones and which are shoring flowers even at night, that I could admire them.
- Oh, it's a pity, but I know some japanese flowers, grafts of pigments, that have a lots of amazing colors. We can buy many kind of roses with weird colors! and black ones too. It's been my dream always, to have a plant of black roses.- she laid her head carefully on my shoulder, trying to picture the image I gave to her.- You on a roses bed... gorgeous.- the scent of the red roses she immagined me between came to her nose, making her give a deep sigh.
- Yes, colorful plants are good...- somehow got lost in time when she put her head on my shoulder and very gently touched her hair looking in the distance.- Me and rose bed? I don't even fit to such beauty, you should better put me in bed with stinky venomous fly trap plant I have on my window sill....- a little bit lip and stared at night with no look at all, being in other time with her, remembering Auvergne's fields, spring, Nicky, all my family happy together when I was just a little boy and one tear fell down cheek, but I couldn‘t feel it.
The feeling of my hand touching her hair sent light shivers down her spine and, closing her eyes, she rubbed her cheek on my shoulder, leaving a soft long kiss on my arm:
- Don't say that kind of things, you know I could never imagine you in that kind of picture. I know past sometimes bring tears, my beloved one, but now let's focus on present, ok?- she smiled warmly, caressing my ribs.
I smiled through tears and shook head to get rid of bad memories and sighed deeply:
- Oh yes, we must think how to plant these beautiful things that everyone could admire them.... This is just moment of weakness, when I remember my past.- I kissed her head and got up from ground, took shovel and started to dig smaller hole for busies.- Now how do you think I should compose them?
Aixa stood up with a little laziness, putting in place the folds of her short skirt. She licked her thumb to clean the red paths my tears had left on my marbelous face and, when she finished, she said:
- French gardens always play with geometric shapes, and we already have one like that. I think we should plant the roses in a gradient of colors, creating ways between them. Do you like it that way?
I looked at plants, at trees, at Aixa again and frowned a little:
- Well, I'm not so good at geometry or something like that. You plant, I will dig and do other men stuff ok?- I leaned to all flowers and took them gently from plastic bags putting on ground and throwing box away that won't stay on way and smiled.- Now we should find some water for watering it.
- Hahaha, me neither, dad.- she started to remember her old school days and how hard it was for her to approve maths while grabbing the flowers. The dist on her hands didn't mind. Finally, she was spending time with her daddy.-Ok, I will put them as I said... and the water, leave it for when we finish this first.- she thought about how much she missed me. It was good to be with me again.
I looked how she took flowers and nodded to her wishing to help somehow a little more:
- Well, I can go and take some water while you plant them.- not waiting for her to accept, left her and walked to the kitchen to took some buckets of water. While I waited for water to fill bucket, I started to see visions again. This time they weren't so scary, like strange. I got scared and poured water faster on another bucket. Shook head, but still saw visions and quickly went outside to waiting Aixa all pale, put buckets on ground and sat on ground without any word at all.
- Oh, well, don't wait for my answer.- she chunckled, concentrated on her job. But when she saw me behind her back, there was the pale face again, with lost eyes and a light fear expression on my eyebrows. That image just puzzled her! Quickly walking towards me, Aixa kneeled in front of me, grabbing both of my cheecks with her palms, putting my face close to hers. My breathing was agitated, indeed, and the eyes couldn't look at her... "What did I miss?"-she thought.- Dad... Dad, look at me... hey, dad...- she kissed my lips tenderly as she used to be, to see if that could bring me to reality
I got more pale and scared of visions looking to one direction, and body shivered a little. But through scary hallucination felt lovingly arms shaking me and heard sweet voice of Aixa. She tried to talk with me, but couldn't. Only after few minutes I looked at her all shaking like wet puppy and opened mouth to say everything what saw and cry loud everything that felt, but stopped and just very cold said:
- Let's finish our work...- I took her hands off hiding all feelings and nodded to her that we must work no matter what.
- DAD. Dad... Come here, yes?- she stayed on the floor, still shocked by the sea of words I just vomited! So terrifying they were!! And it was totally strange that, from a moment to another, I simply stood up and tried to convince that everything passed. What was in my mind? Why I didn't allow her to clean my tears?. Trying to persuade me, she called my name twice, lifting her arms wanting me to come.
I still felt strange and decided to stay calm not to scare her. But she was still worrying about me and I turned my head to her gently. But lips still didn't smile, I was still sad and quite scared of that vision. I took her hand in my cold fingers and looked at her eyes:
- Aixa? Let's do what we have to do.- I again closed eyes, hallucination was gone, but memory still was full of disgusting view. I looked at plants and again at her. My lips wanted to say many things, but bit them and frowned showing her that I can hide and control all emotions.- It was just.....just.....


Nicky ‎walked silently through the halls trying not to disturb anyone.......
I could feel Nicky in middle of crowd, in a middle of desert, but always at home. His scent took all thoughts away from book and I threw in on bed. Silently came to the door and opened them seeing Nicky walking in hallway. Came to him like a lion in hunting and hugged behind back kissing on cheek:
- Nicky! Where have you been, lost soul?
Nicky was startled when I grabbed him so quickly from behind and my kiss on the cheek told him that I had actually missed him in some small way:
- Lestat, I was getting building plans drawn up for a Project. I have been thinking on....
I laughed gently into his ear tryting to imagine what he was building. On yard I didn't see anything strange, in garden too, so let Nicky of embrace and came to look at his face:
- What are you building, silly?- I took his hands and kissed them.- Maybe a greenhouse? Cause I'm planting trees in garden.
Nicky looked at me and smiled it had been ages since he had actually smiled and some how I could always bring it to his lips:
- I am not building on your property dont worry on that at all I would not dream of it, but I am going to construct a theatre once more.
Somehow my mind went dark from such words and I frowed exploring Nicky's face to see if he went complitely mad. Gently squeezed his hands and hugged once more not knowing what to say or what to do:
- My Child, why do you need theater? If you will start same madness like it was, I will burn that building and make peace. But if it is good theater, well I will be very happy.
Nicky looked at me a bit crossly for once again thinking he had somehow lost his mind:
- Lestat, I have no ill intentions. I want to make it beautiful and full of wonderful plays and music of course music I want to compose and write again like it did all those years ago.
I took his face in hands and kissed passionate on lips:
- Promise me that it will be great, not some hallucinations. And then I'll help you to buy whatever you want... Decorations, papers for writing, lamps, 3D screen, hire people and everything. And maybe my son will be interested in it. He is so lonely boy that hates everyone who disturbs him in peace...
Nicky kissed me back gently looking into my grey blue eyes:
- I simply want this as a creative outlet, Lestat, music is the one thing that makes my heart sing that makes me happy. I would never create a theater of madness, Lestat, I am very serious about this. I want it to be perfection right down to every last detail I have the visions in my mind on how I want it to look. I promise you it will be perfect people will flock from all corners of the world to come to see its magical plays.- he took my hands and his eyes widened with great excitement as he spilled out his hearts dreams to me.
I carefully listened to Nicky's dreams and got a little blushed from kiss, but touched his chin and caressed genly looking into his eyes:
- That sounds very nice. And it's very good you finally found some passion in you to kill that sadness. And I hope I will be able to help you.- I put hand on his shoulder and led to his room for more comfortable talk and closed door.- Sit and show me these plans, I am quite interested in them...
Nicky let me lead me into his own room and before taking a seat he pulled out a huge blueprint from under the bed and laid it out on the floor before us:
- This is it, Lestat, its very victorian in style like the theatre's of the days of old. I want it too look grand like the old ones but with all the modern technology of the present time. I have been studying all about this new time that i am in now and there are so many magical things that can make this theatre grand like no other before it.
I blinked a little faster looking at so huge blueprint and sat next to it looking carefully and trying to imagine how it will look like:
- I understand. You will need lamps, even pyrotechnical things and everything to make spectacular show. And I know how to get them... But tell me...- I put one leg on another and leaned at chair putting legs on table.- Where will you build it? You must buy free land to start works.
- Well, Lestat, seems from years ago my father‘s old land here in Paris is still in my name it belongs to be acres and acres of it. There is nothing there now but there will be. I will find a way to do this and you can even come and act on this stage like you used to, Lestat, be Lelio again if you wish. Dont you still dream of seeing your name in lights.....do you still long for the adoration of millions.
- Land of your father? That' great! You are dirty rich, and I smell money from business....- all exciment died from word "Lelio" and I got calm as silent ocean and looked sadly at floor hearing that I could act again, be adored and loved like always wanted. I started to see images how it will be, but shook head and looked at Nicky again.- You think I still could do that? Or you just use my weak place for something? Tell me.
- Lestat, I still remember you on that stage years ago you were magnifique, mon ami. I know you could still do it, it‘s in your heart it always has been. You were always the one who had the light inside of you, Lestat, it was always you. I shall never forget watching you night after night. You mesmorized them all they all wanted to be you.- he looked at me with the most sincere look on his face. He loved me even if I no longer loved him and he wanted me to be happy.
My look stared at one point on the wall, thinking of nothing or maybe of everything, but after some minutes got back to reality and looked at Nicky remembering his words:
- You say compliments to me as always, but don't think you are so dark. If you create such things in your head, that means you have something special too. And... I guess Isabella would like to see me on stange. She and my son would be very very happy. As for me, I keep these feelings in my heart like I always did.
Nicky threw his arms around me hugging me tightly. He hated seeing me in any pain at all:
- Lestat, you know I‘m here for you, don‘t you??
His arms on my neck and warm hug made me wake up from thoughts and I blushed:
- Nicky, I'm not pain, you just think I'm. Sometimes memories makes me think a lot, makes me drown in trance and you all think I feel pain... Nooo....- I kissed his cheek and held him hugging like biggest gift.
Nicky laid his head on my shoulder breathing in my sent the soft velvet of my coat feeling wonderful on his cheek:
- I love you, Lestat, I just worry about you at times.
Warm nice waves came down all body from his touch and I closes eyes to take all nice emotions from this moment:
- I know you worry, everyone does. And at this moment I understand you like never before, I am equal to you- mad and scred of new day, every new night. Tell me how it was for you, what you felt? Maybe my hallucinations are also like yours.
- Well, I felt darkness, Lestat, like it was closing in on me......I was afraid of it.
- If it was hell, devils, scary seeings?- I took a look at Nicky again.- I saw how Marius and Armand wanted to burn me, I saw how devils wanted to take me to hell, I heard scary voices, luckily that witch doctor helped...
- I am glad someone was able to help you.
- Yes, he helped me, gave medicine...and now I feel better.- I nodded looking at his eyes.- But I still feel unsafe and scared. Maybe you can help?
- Well, Lestat, I am always here and I would love to help you any way I can...I myself have been very lonely here without any company, we should spend more time together I would greatly enjoy that.
- Talking about time, I really need to do something to heal better. How can feel next to my son if he thinks I'm alcoholic madman.- I smiled after all and eyes again began to shine.- Well. We should go and plan something. Maybe a trip or something else. Besides Francois is our new member, he really likes to play violin and piano, and theater is his greatest passion.
- Fantastic. I would love to have him work in the theatre and if he needs pointers in violin I am more than happy to help him. A trip you say what do you have in mind? Take me anywhere, Lestat, show me your world, your passions, it‘s been to long I want you to take me with you on your journies.
I giggled from his excitment and kissed him again:
- I will take you anywhere you wish. And Francois will come to one day, he is also travelling or hunting.- I thought that Francois probably drank all cellar.- He has bigger appetitte than we. Well. What country you would like to visit?
- I want to see everything, Lestat, it‘s been so long since I have been out in the world. I want you to show me what life is in this day and age. I miss you anyway I want time with you and your family with your son and your wife as well. I want to be a part of your life in any way I can.
I shuted up him with deep kiss and giggled:
- Ok, ok... I understood. Just what country attracts you mostly? I was thinking of Greece, or Italy...maybe even some wild country in Asia or Africa. Tell me, my dear.




As I promised to my daughter Claudia to show her my wife Isabella De Lionkūr, I took Claudia's hand and led her to Isabella's chambers. Knocked silently on door feeling a little nervous, how it will come and waited when Isabella will let them in.
Claudia still holding my hand she looked around her surroundings in her home and she looked up at me wondering what I am thinking then back at the door.
Isabella heard the silent knock on the door which disturbed her card reading, as she walked out closing doors and feeling it was her love with someone, quickly opened the door.
I smiled at Isabella in between door and squeezed Claudia's hand to relax:
- Honey, I brought you Claudia...she wants to talk with us like three adults. Can we come in?
Claudia remained where she was and remained quiet. Still enraged with me for not telling her about this woman, but said nothing. Though she knew that I can read her mind.
Isabella kissed meon cheek:
- What a nice surprise.- she smiled warmly.- Yes, please come in, I was little busy here, but this little princess is always welcome here.
I smiled to both of them:
- Well, first I must tell you all that Isabella is not even my wife, but my child too. Isabella, you know that Claudia is my first daughter ever and has big place in my heart.... Sometimes I feel pain not knowing how to show love for you all...- I led Claudia into Isabella's room.
- Yes I know she is your first daughter, and I respect her.- she bowed before this magical girl.
Claudia remained quiet listening to me speaking about her still stuyding Isabella softly.
I kinda felt a little hot atmosphere, but sat on one armchair and offered to sit for Claudia:
- Well, I would like us three to talk about this all. I don't want any bad feelings, anger or anything as I fought for Isabella with Marius and Armand. This time let's all have nice evening.
Isabella sat on the chair:
- Yes, I want a nice evening for us too. What you want to talk about, Lestat? Claudia?- she asked us curiously while putting her cards back to box on the table.
Claudia looked up at us for a moment unsure of what to say.
I looked at Claudia worrying and nodded to her:
- Say, my Child, I want to hear eveything you think, no matter what it is. I know it's hard for you meet new woman who is my wife, to know about our son and everything, but holding in your heart won't help to feel better.
- Ahhhh this..- she looked down sadly for a moment then looked deeply into my eyes, the Claudia's, feeling she will be rejected spoke calmly, hidding her fears inside.- Speak Claudia
-This...is just all very new to me. I mean, the last time I had a mother was when I was six and when Louis found me. And also it was before Lestat snatched me from my life. My mortal life.
I felt bad inside remembering old times and looked painfully at one point on the wall not blinking, trying to swallow bad memories and control all emotions:
- Claudia, I know what you mean.... But remember that I saved you, my luv, I gave you life you would never had, I gave all my love and now I do the same....- I finally took a looks at Claudia.- And I know that you would like have mommy. You need not only men around you. Girl needs a woman to talk about woman things... Am I right, Isabella? Isabella smiled to Claudia:
- Yes, you are right my love, I'll adore this girl like my own, I'm good listener and I hope you will love me, princess.- she stood up from chair and gently touched Claudia's little hands.- Forget all of the bad things you suffered, my darling, I love you.
Claudia felet her taking her hands and she looked up at her and listened then sighs softly:
- Very well. I suppose to be part of this 'new family'. However, if things get out of hand. Its not my fault. Anger, the thirst, everything will go.- she looked at me then back at Isabella.- Now, about this brother... who is he?
I looked worrying at Claudia and knew what can happen when she is angry, so just looked at her gently, not wanting to hurt her:
- I understand that you have many emotions inside you, they destroy your soul, but I can help you feel better.... And your brother is...half-human. He grows with every day faster. And in June 1st he will be 20 years old man... But he likes to be alone and is bigger asshole than me.
- You will meet him soon ,he is my son, bore him...- Isabella somehow felt unpleasant saying that to Claudia, feeling she might anger her.- Lestat, don't call him like that.- she gave me angry look.- He is a good boy.
Claudia‘s eyes go wide:
-What? He can grow and I cannot?!- she became a little frustrated. Almost wanting to hit me.- How...how is this possible?! That's totally not fair. I've been in this child like body for thirty years yet he can grow and I cannot!
- Claudia!- I lifted voice a little up and hit table with fist a little.- I said he is HALF- HUMAN, HALF- VAMPIRE. He is not like us all. He has vampire DNA and human body's cells. That's how it is.
- You were made differently...it doesn‘t make you worse.- she held me on shoulder, calming me.- Don't start, my love...
- It‘s alright, Mother. I‘m used to his anger. He's threatened me before!- her eyes looked at me carefully.
Isabella shivered holding tighter my shoulders as she called her Mother.
I got nervous and all trembled trying to control myself, all body got strained and tried to talk as calm as I could:
- I try not to...yell at her....but it's so hard....- I closed eyes and took a deep breath to chill out.- I just hate to see envy.... I love every single o my children the same, and no one less.
Claudia lefts the room and went out to the balcony and looked at the mortals passing by.
- Please, Isabella, help me to end this nicely. I'm very stressed now. She needs a hug or something andI can't give her because of my situation.. I need to calm down a little. Bring me some blood with brandy.
- Perfect! Look what you have done, I'm going after her, and you get your drink yourself.- she left the room to find Claudia.
- Ok...ok..- I stood up slowly and went to bar for some fresh blood.- Just make sure she would come back to me again. She trusts only in me.
Claudia gave a sigh as she heard us inside. Then ignored and looked out at the sky and felt the breez. Isabella slowly walked into balcony seeing Claudia and mortals passing by their house, spoke gently to her, watching on mortals:
- This shouldn't be like this...he just have a big mouth, and needs to learn to shut it...tell me how you feel, princess.
Claudia turned over and hugged her tightly:
- Mama.
Isabella hugged her back gently, but tight, fondling her beautiful curls:
- My daughter...I love you, if something makes you sad please tell me, you are free to speak with me dear.- she kissed her cheek.
Claudia turned away from her still looking at the mortals:
- Why is it that my brother or in this case my half brother, can grow. How old is he and why can this happen. I do not understand.
Isabella turned to her and spoke calmly:
- He is a miracle...he has some human DNA so he can grow to certain age....of 20 ..he will grow till he reach 20 years.- she came little closer to her and looked into her face.

May 27

Isabella dressed in a black lace gown with open shoulders and tight on ther slim waist, she slowly lit up candles all over her room, and looked even more stunning in the candle light, suddenly felt that someone was watching her from the shadow in the dark corner of the room, gracefully lit up final candle. After last scary vision I decided to come back home, but suddenly went to Isabella's room and stopped in dark to watch how she is lighting candles. I watched silently, still deep thinking about my last hallucinations, but shook head and decided that some love from wife will calm me down. Plus, long time nobody kissed me. But somehow couldn't go to her, again felt blond shyness and watched her not even breathing from her beauty. As the candle last candle was lit up, she smiled a little knowing who was watching her and my shyness made her giggle charmingly:
- Ohhh..-she spoke quietly yet playfully.- I thought you will scare me by shooting up behind my back...- she smiled and turned to the dark corner where I was hiding.- Wow...-she sighed.- Lestat is shy, ohhh you are full of surprises..-she giggled again.- Well...come out come out, I know you missed me.- her eyes reflected candle light as she made a move with her hand touching neck down her curvesto the hip.
I slowly walked from darkness and showed her myself. Then leaned to door and watched her a little nervous, but hid bad emotions inside and stayed quite silent. Candles made relaxing atmosphere and I smiled slightly:
- Blond always will be shy...- I whispered at her and started to play with jacket bottons, then with necklace. My eyes were sad, but lustful and full of love. But I slowly walked to bed and laid on it with shoes, took cigarette from pocket and lit it looking at her somehow very sensual and burning from passion.
- Dear, God.- she giggled again.- I made you smoke...- she slowly walked to me, watching my every move, my shirt buttons shining in the candle light, my blond hair reflecting the light, I looked so irresistible, charming and flirtacious as I smoked cigarette, smoke scent mixed with mine in the room, as she inhaled it and a slight shiver went down her spine, still so confident leaned near to me laying in bed, took gently by chin with one hand and threw out cigarette from my mouth with another gracefully, breathed calmly, but her heart beat so fast, we both could hear it because of silence between us, I smiled mischievously and sensed her very well. Still holding my chin she spoke quietly looking on my lips.- You still do it to me....you still tempt me...
Her every move going to me made my heart beat fast, her touches and seductive voice kissed my ego, but I got nervous when she took cigarette from me and frowned. I remembered that had much sweet packet of cigarettes, and took one cherry taste to my mouth. I played with cigarette in mouth looking at her and eyes shone from sudden sexy move. Licked sweet cigarette filter like would lick her Little Joy, then lit that cigarette and pulled her on back sitting on her belly. Blowed cherry smoke to her neck and gently sucked her ear whispering:
- Throw my cigarettes and I won't be so seductive, but mad.... And now.... I would like some games we never played.- I inhaled one more deep smoke and blowed to the ceiling watching how fume disappeared. Then put cigarette again to mouth and took of jacket throwing it on the floor that candles' fire started to dance by the rhytm of my heart. Unbuttoned a little of my shirt and left only little naked spot of body. With one hand touched her cheek and inserted finger in her mouth.- Give me some passion you have...
Isabella felt so pleased beeing beneath me, watching me smoke again, thinking of this seductive rebel brat who always did what he likes, she breathed deeper when she touched my cheek and sucked my finger deeply and licking it like would lick Him, now I looked extremely tempting without ,y jacket and left with shirt on, she continued to suck my finger and rubbed my strong hips holding her tight, now she was was prisoner. As I put out my wet finger down her chin and chest she gave out a silent moan, and showed her fangs and hissed to me playfully:
- You are a lot sexier when you are mad..- she curved her body a bit feeling me holding her tight with hips, took back my hand, rolled up sleeve and pressed lips to my wrist feeling my strong pulse, licked it with the top of the tongue and bit it. My warm blood filled her thirsty mouth, and she released it licking her bloody lips in ecstasy, pulled me by the shirt closer to her face and rubbed her bloody lips to mine.
I closed eyes when she took my hand and bit it. Took cigarette to another hand and moaned as she took my blood so tempting. Then opened eyes only when she kissed me on lips, tasted own blood and smiled from pleasure:
- You are my tigress... Oh God....- but again leaned from her face teasingly touching her breasts. Unbuttoned shirt more and left them on showing her naked chest, my weakest place ever. One hand slided down my neck, slided around my left nipple and went down to my pants, but stopped to the belt smiling.- To take it away or not? That is the question... I will play sado-mazo with you. You can watch, but you can't touch me... And if you will dare, I'll bite you.- I laughed devilish and sunk nails into her wrist.
Isabella gasped and giggled still with bloody mouth as I sunk my nails into her wrist, then she cratched my chest with one hand seeing how the scrathes healed immediatelly, frowned when I teased her and acted like my victim, speaking softly, pretenting to be scared and wanting to escape but not at all:
- Oh, no.... please, don't bite me, I fear you, let me go you, monster.- she beat my chest with palms, looking into my eyes innocently, but smiled devilish showing fangs.- Ohhhh please let me go.- she whined a little then giggled hard and licked her hurting wrist for me to see.
I grabbed her hand and gently bit it:
- I said no touching....- I took off belt and tied her hands with belt to bed that she couldn't touch, just watch. Then again sat on her and fondled my body, but cigarette ended and I smiled throwing it away. Took another one and lit it taking first deep fresh smoke to my lungs and blowed it all on her face thinking that cherry smoke won't be very disgusting to her and took dagger from night table which was hers. Very gently touched her neck with dagger and slided it down to her breast, touched her buttons and quickly cut them like Dorian Grey in the movie, naked breasts got free and I took one more deep smoke. Held cigarette with teeth and with cold metal of dagger slided down her nipples, not even a scratch left, but played with dangerous toys and smiled widely.
- Ohhhhh, Lestat.- she moaned out loud shivering from the cold of the blade on her breasts and giggled enjoying me beeing so wild and passionate, leaned closer to my opened chest and licked it from bottom up to my chin, holding her tied hands up whispering him heavily breathing.- Ahhh so you don't want me to touch you....or affraid you that you might enjoy it, but still i have my fangs.- she bit me on chest and licked flowing blood and some dripped from her mouth down her chest.
A lot enjoyed her licking and bite, but remembered that must stop her, so grabbed her by hair and held it tight:
- I said I will play sadistic this night.- I slapped her and laughed loud like Devil in hell. Then again took dagger and cut her elbow for blood drinking it fast and hungry, but not letting her bite me. That night I wanted to torture her and feel all government of her body. After some seconds stopped drinking her blood and put dagger on her cheek.- Ahhh how sweet and innocent you look. How pretty and cute.....- I cuts her cheek a little till blood and licks it.
Isabella moaned loudly as I tasted her and felt so good. I was not controling myself, pure wild bloodthirsty demon, playing his dirty game, she gasped when I cut her cheek and spoke breathing fast and smiled to him:
- Ahhh playing rough with me, ohhh yes I wonder what you will do next.- she giggled.- How will you tease and torture me mmm?- she licked my cheek fast.- Ahhh you will regret so much my tied hands...
- No, I won't. And I said- NO TOUCHING.- I slapped her again and decided to sprank her good, so pulled her on belly and quickly, with dagger, took her skirt off and underwear. Spanked her rough on butt and laughd.- Now that's what I'm talking about.- then ran dagger down her butt that she could feel cold metal sliding down and touching more sensitive place of her body, but slided it more and more down her legs and tickled her feet a little to torture more. But again returned to her butt and gently fondles it with hands until one finger slided into her anus.- We should find more private place, my slave.
Isabella giggled and moaned at the same time when I spanked her and shivered feeling blade moving down her body, moaned:
- Ohhh yes, you like it, don't you?.- she nodded to her butt.- Ahhhh my naughty naughty....-she giggled hard.- Is that all you've got? Little games with My knife and spanking? Oh, please..- she smiled.- And you are so scared, looking for a private place...pathetic.- she streched in the bed beneath me then rolled up to me.- Chicken.- she giggled.
I decided to act more cruel and grabbed her chin roughly looking into her eyes:
- Don't you dare to call me chicken!!! You want me to be rough, cruel, sadistic? Well I can do that.- I slapped her hard and took her hair roughly making her sit in bed still with tied hands, so as she sat, I pulled her hair down that she would look at me like slave and kissed her on lips biting them hard that blood flowed on her chest.- Find me private place and I'll will make you cry from pain!! Ahhhh... Ikue has his fetishistic room.
Isabella licked her bloody lips:
- Perfect!


May 28

- Mama?- Claudia looked around for her new mother.- I need to ask you something. Something very important.
Isabella suddenly appeared and held her on the waits and turned to herself looking deeply into her eyes:
- What happened? What you want to ask, princess?
- Well... I wish to ask you something. Its something I've always wanted. Ever since I was younger. Is it possible for you to change me or transport me into a different body? An older woman's body?!- Claudia looked up at Isabella.
Isabella felt a bit shocked after her wish:
- Uhm....well...it is possible, but do you really want this? You are so sweet, I don't want to lose you....like this- she hugged her tight.- I don't know....do you understand Claudia?- Isabella whispered.- This kind of manipulation on a immortal may cause anger of Elders.
Claudia felt her hugging her and then closed her eyes:
- Please,Mama. I want to be a different person. I even told Papa about it! Please.- she looked up at her.- I don‘t care if the Elders are angry about my wish. If they understood how I felt about this. I would want them to grant me this one little thing. Please, Mama.- Claudia looked up with her innocent eyes.
Isabella kissed her forehead gently:
- I will do it then...I want you to be happy, my princess.- she smileed to her.- I'll make you grow.- she tapped her little nose.- Now, please, I'll lead you to my room and think about how to do this, I have to look up into my grimoire, I remember there was something about growth...- Isabella shook head.- No no, I need to look up...please come with me then.- she took her hand gently.
- Shall I get Lestat? So he could come and experience this as well Mama?
Isabella still was holding her hand gently:
- I think he should...He is your papa, it's very immortant.
Claudia smiled brightly and nodded:
- Though I don‘t know where he is. Could you call him for me, Mama?
- Everything for you, my princess.- Isabella called me to come to them quickly using Mind gift.
I was reading a book in my dark and silent room, feeling quite forgotten and not needed, watched at pictures in book and smiled at nice artist drawing, but suddently heard silent call for me...from Isabella's room. I put book carefullly on table and shook head to forgot that I read book, if somebody will know, I will be very embarrased, looked at mirror and went to see what Isabella needs from me. Came there I saw also my daughter Claudia and smiled to both women:
-Well..well...well... if it is a family meeting?
Claudia was sitting with Isabella. She smiled then went to me and hugged me:
- Allo Papa.- she hugged him tightly.- I have something to ask you. I want to be placed into a different body. This one I have now is old and dead. I want a fresh one. Mama, has agreed that she would do this for me. Please. I want to be a woman. Not a child. Even if Louis says I am a woman. I dont look it.- Claudia looked up at me.
I hugged my daughter back and smiled at her listening how she tells the same things I heard many years:
- I understand, Louis should be burned with his books, which I hate a lot. And of course I agree about this thing you planned, you deserve to be full grown up...- I took a look at Isabella.- Well, honey, do you have some spells to make her adult?
Isabella smileed to me:
- It's a very important day for our princess as you see...she wanted you to attend while I'll make her older.- she took Claudia's hands.- I won't place you to other body, because you are very pretty, I'll make you a young woman ageing your body...it will cause no pain, I promile.- she kissed her on cheek.
Claudia felt her mother taking her hands and then looked over at her:
- Alright...- she looked at her curiously. Tilting her head sideways lightly. Became slightly nervous at this.- Im...ready when you are, mama.
- It's good you are ready, my princess, now all three of of let's go to my room, we will make it quiet and peacefull- she rubbed her cheek gently.
Claudia nodded and then took a hold of her hand and wondered with her to her room.
I went closer to them both and looked around:
- Well, open door, Isabella, we are next to it.- I started to laugh.
Door opened themselves and then Isabella giggled to me. Claudia entered into her room. I stopped laughing and headed to find chair and sat on it taking some witch book in hands and started to read it, but watched everything around what was going on in room:
- I will watch everything...- I felt nervous a lot and hands trembled.
- Please sit on the sofa, dearests, while I'll look up in this...mess, oh God.- she looked for her Grimoir quickly.- Ahhh there you are.- she smiled taking the book hidden behind the table, started to look and read quickly, searching for the growth potion, growth spell anything.- Hey, put it down, Love, there are some things not for your eyes.- she frowned taking book back and went to search again.
Claudia went over to sat down on the sofa and looked around. She gave a sigh then said nothing more. I frowned as Isabella took book from my hands and I understood that I TOOK BOOK. Oh God I was now like Louis. Blushed a lot and crouched in chair. Why the hell I showed that I read books? It's embarrasing... So took woodoo doll and started to play with it making it dance.
Claudia quirked a brow at me for a moment then looked over at her mother:
- You promise there will be no pain?
- Could you please put down that too, I want to focus, dear, it's important.- she smiled to Claudia.- Yes, there will be no strong pain, and as far as I know you will be a grown up the next day, it takes time...a night and then comes result.- Isabella searched the book again.
I got sad and put doll on table again looking at Claudia painfully, almost pouting. So, put head on table and played with my hair sadly looking at floor. I must do something to reduce sensitive nerves.
- Yes!- Isabella smiled happily looking into page of her book.- Finally. It's a potion, not very difficult to make, I have some herbs here.- she went to take some from shelf.- And ohhh...- she read carefully ingredients.- We need fresh blood of a young woman.
Hearing that they need fresh blood of young lady, I stood up like lighning and shone like a star:
- I CAN GO!!
Claudia giggled softly at me. Isabella giggles too and came closer to me, hugged me tight and gave a kiss:
- Mmm I know you can.- she rubbed my hair.- Now go, I'll do all the rest.
- YAY!!!- I clapped with hands and ran through door to the city to find a woman, rape her and kill her.
Isabella went to mix the herbs she took to make it ready for the ponion. Claudia remained silent and went to watch her:
- What are you doing?
Isabella smileed to her:
- Making one part of your ponion, princess, you can help me if you want.
- Yes!- she went to stand by her and looked around then back at her.
Isabella gave her some herbs and a knife:
- Now chop it and put into that big bowl and I will look for more.- Isabella went to other shelf.- It's good I have them here, everything in place.
Claudia began chopping the herbs lightly with the knife and looked around, then put it in the bowl.
Isabella put some other ingredients to her bowl and stopped a little:
- Claudia, would you like to see...how you will look after this?
I had very good fun at city, came back with bottle of fresh blood, hair messed up, eyes shone, shirt unbuttoned, happy like a baby got candy, opened Isabella's door:
- I came back....- I smiled devilish and put bottle on table.- And here you go a bottle...Mmm fresh, sweet, tasty... I'm in love that blood.
Isabella frowned looking into that bottle and took it:
- We will talk about this later...- she went and spilled it into bowl.
I giggled and sat in chair:
- Don't worry, honey, I still love you...- I played with curl of hair.- I am a man... I need to play. All men are little boys, just our toys get bigger when we grown up, but our brains are still like baby's...
- Yes! I wanna see how I will look!- Claudia went over to her mother.
Isabella mixed herb juice with the blood and spilled liquid part, all of it into glass, took it and went to Claudia:
- Now, my princess, it's time..drink this, slowly and tomorrow you will be grown, I want you good.
Claudia took the drink and looked at her father then her mother:
- Alright.- she took a deep breath and drank it.
Isabella whispered to me:
- This is it, tomorrow we will see new her, she will be so happy...no more prison in that child‘s body.
I looked at Claudia how she drank that potion and felt joy that my mistake will be corrected after so many years and smiled.
- Im going to bed, Mama.- Claudia went to hug both of them.- Thank you both very much.- she smiled and then went to her room and slept.



‎Isabella came to me for a talk she promised. I shivered looking at her, because felt stupid, so turned from her and hid eyes behind hair:
- Yes, honey... – I sat in chair and looked through window a little angry and irritated.
- Why are you hidding your eyes?- she asked curiously then came closer.- Look at me.
I got more nervous because she crossed my private space and closed eyes to calm down, imagining that everything was good:
- They just hurt... In city are too much lamps, so they hurt now...- I held fists hiding them on chest.
- I just want look into your beautiful eyes.- she touched my shoulders gently looking to me through my hair on face.
- I don't want....- I hid all face with hands shaking head- I don't WANT. NO.
- Why you are so ...- she got sad.
- Because...because... I'm... sad too...-I felt how started to tremble from nerves getting sensitive and thought that can start to scream any minute from such emotions.
- I just ..just.- she kissed me gently.
I shivered from kiss and crouched:
- I feel that I'm in crisis again... My nerves can explode any minutes, I feel very nervous!!- I trembled even more not knowing how to stop.- I'm so nervous....
- That's why I'm here.- she kissed me deeper again.
- No no... Don't stimulate me, please.- I leaned back from her.- I need something to calm down, not to get horny...
- I thought my kisses and company calms you down....
- You stimulate me... – I shivered more and more.- Please, give my pills from table, I need to calm down...or I can get mad.
- No, I don't.. I just show you how I care and love you.- she passed me pills.
I took bottle of pills with trembling hands and drank a lot of of them, then put bottle in pocket and trembled looking at wall. After some minutes got a lot dizzy and started to talk slowly:
- Honey... I know you love me...as I do to.... But I'm very sick as you know...- I reached hands to her.- I can't get nervous or I will be in crisis... and it's very very bad...
- Let me take care of you now.- she gently rubbed my face.- I know you are sick, and it's my fault...- she cried and hugged him.- I love you.
I hugged her by neck like a baby and let her do what she wanted:
- Yes... I'm too weak now to decide... Just don't cry, I'm ok... Just very broken...
Isabella kissed me again and again gently and tears fell down her cheeks.
- Stop crying, love, please... I beg you... What did I do?- I looked at her scared
- You did nothing...it's tears of great joy.
- What joy, love?- I looked more confused at her.
- Yes, to have you near me every night, joy to kiss you...- she kissed me again.
- Oh yes, love... I love you so much...- my eyes started to blink slower and closed. Sleep took over my body and I put head on her shoulder.
Isabella fondled my hair gently and kissed my neck.
I slept calmly on her hands and dreamed nice dreams, no nerves now, just good sleep:
- Mmmm.....


Claudia awaked the next morning and went to the mirror and smiled lightly to herself. Went over to the living room where she ssaw her father and mother:
- Mama? Lestat?.- she gave a light smile and looked at them.- So. how do I look?- she questioned softly.
I woke up from deep sleep and heard my daughter calling. I ran to see how she will look like, saw her already in young woman's body, same Claudia, but so beautiful and charming, like no other girl:
- Claudia? You are my BIG miracle!!!- I ran and hugged her tight, but blushed feeling how she got feminine and let her go all red.
Claudia giggled and hugged me:
- Lestat. Its fine.- she giggled and looked to her mother Isabella.- Mama. How do I look? Do I look alright?
I stroked her hair and couldn‘t believe in such miracle:\
- I'm charmed... I can't believe, what you did, Isabella.... I just can't... She is finally young woman...
Isabella giggled happily and kissed her daughter on cheeks:
- My beauty, you look wonderful. How you feel?- she giggled.
- I feel great actually. You were right, mama, I didn't feel anything.
- It's good, very good.- Isabella smiled brightly.- You have happy eternity now.
- Yes I do. Though I have one more question. What should I do about my clothes?- Claudia frowned.
- I'm glad...- I smiled widely.- If Isabella would gave you pain, I would be very angry now, but as I see you are happy, your dream CAME TRUTH, Claudia!- I tapped her nose like old times.- I will buy you new ones.

May 29

‎I woke up after long sleep at day jumped from bed, put new clothes on: white shirt with lace like I always liked, black jeans and old fashionated dark blue embroided waistcoat. Felt kinda calm and in good mood, but somehow bored, not knowing what to do or where to go. So silently walked to Louis room and stole some books from him. Moon was shining very bright outside so went to breath fresh air in garden and read some books.

Garden was full of sweet smell of flowers, nightly birds singing in trees and so calm atmosphere. I sat under one tree, on fresh spring's glass and took a look at Isabella‘s windows. There was light and her white face in window. I giggled and opened one book, smiled a little feeling funny, 'cause it was book about woo doo in Louis shelves. Interesting, why Louis is reading about witchcraft? To find that I started to read that book enjoying silent night.
Isabella woke up in my bed late in evening, surrounded by candle light, looked on one side looking for her love, but I was gone, quicly put on her white nightware with lace and looked through the window to garden. there, under a tree she saw me silently sitting and reading book.Went out to the garden, silently, watching me from the sides of trees.
I pretended to not seeing her, but I knew she was watching me hiding like I watched her last night. Smiled behind book widely like a child got candy and eyes shone in darkness, but still didn't say anything to her and read. Even forgot my promise not to show anyone that I like books, so was just waiting for her to come first, I felt like young boy shyly wanting to talk with her, but pretended that I can't see her. A little giggled from pictures in book, and lifted eyes to take a look at her from behind book, she was still here.
Isabella gazed upon me secretly hidding and smiled because knew I will sense her from the beginning. Still I was so graceful just sitting and reading, moonlight made me even more pale and handsome, and she giggled giving her shivers. After some time watching me, she decided to go to him, and she walked from the shadows like a ghost in the night, a vision...all dressed white, her pale skin shinning enlighted by the moon, hair waving in the air from each breath of the wind, walked slowly, not even touching the ground, not making a sound, a night goddess.
I put book on the ground and watched her coming, just flowing in air like a ghost or something. Smiled gently and sat in lotus pose waiting for her come closer. I looked so calm like never before. Not a single frowm on forehead, not a single nerve was moving, just pure calmness and her appearance made me even more calm. I reached hand for her to sit next to me, because tree was smelling very nice, maybe a jasmine or some other plant I planted few days ago. I still needed to read more books about plants to know them.
Isabella took my hand gently and sat beside me, then turned and took my face into her hands, touching it with fingertips slowly, forehead, down to the cheeks, chin, lips.....looked long on my beautiful lips, remembering my gentle and strong kisses, my bites... ahhhh those bites gave her death, but yet were so sweet..rubbed my lips looking deeply into my eyes...suddenly bit of her tongue a little and blood appeared on her lips, she slowly leaned to me and licked my lips with bloody tongue.
As she sat next to me, I felt a little thing flying in my stomach, so closed eyes for a second and quickly opened them, her hands were touching my face so gently, that I looked at her amazed, only smelt blood and tasted it on my lips made me understand her bloody and passionate kiss. I moaned a little and let her kiss me to calmly and tasty, only after a kiss I opened eyes and looked at her smiling:
- Honey.... you are so beautiful...- I finally said to her and took her hands to squeeze them strongly and lovingly.
Kissing me was a delightful pleasure, and my moan sent her shivers, I was so calm and happy so she smiled to me too:
- Why you left me to sleep so long...bed got so cold without you.- she leaned closer to my neck to smell me.
I giggled a little from her sentence and nose on my neck:
- I wanted to do something, not just lay in bed all evening. Plus night is so beautiful, I don't want to lay in bed.- now I remembered that I was reading a book before she charmed me so fast. I blushed a lot looking at her a little scared and put books under my butt to hide them. I felt so embarrased, so guilty for these books that crouched a little and looked at her with big eyes.
- Awww what are you hidding there?- she giggled slowly caressing my body down to my hips.- Show me...please, because I know how to make you talk if you don't want to.- she smiled.
I looked at her enjoying her touching, but still hid book under butt. I didn't want anybody to know of my secret passion, so just blushed a lot, got more and more red smiling like an idiot:
- I have nothing... Nothing interesting... Just some old.. Never mind... – I blinked faster didn't know what to say or do, but some books slided from under me because I moved nervously and slided down the grass in front of us.
- Ahhh so you are reading...- Isabella smiled looking an books, then put her head on my knees and whispered.- Read something for me, I love your voice....everything you do.
I blushed more that started to shiver from shame:
- Mon Dieu! How these books got under my butt? I have no idea at all.... Maybe Louis left them here? Or Claudia? It's not my fault, seriously, love, I don't read boks, I hate them a lot.- I talked very fast trying go hide my feelings, but everything sounded so "getting butt out of trouble" that I sighed after all tirade.- Isabella? Please, don't say to anybody.... I feel embarrased...
- Why are you embarrased of...reading?- she spoke to me, head still on my knees.- It's wonderful, I'd love to read with you here.- she touched my cheek and smiled charmingly.- You are so cute when you are nervous....you nervous.- Isabella giggled hard and covered her mouth.- Ohh I'm sorry, but it's very funny.
- It's embarrassing.... I...am not like Louis. Books are bad....- I got lost in all thoughts and started to look at one point in darkness. I was once humilated with knowledge. When I loved books, but family took them from me, so I started to hate all books to hide my loss and pain. And felt stupid now, slowly fondling her head and thinking what to do that she won't tell anybody about this little thing.
Isabella looked at me and pressed her finger to lips showing silence gesture and giggled siently:
- I won't tell anybody....-she slowly got up looking deeply into my eyes and whispered to me.- I'll hide your books if you want, your secret is safe with me.- she put books on the one side of the bench and stood up holding my hand.- Would you like to take a walk with me here and sit by the fountain...?- she smiled warmly and her eyes shone in the dark.
I looked how she took my books and felt still very bad, but stood up with her and gave a little smile:
- Ok... Just hide them in my room somewhere. I don't want anybody to know that... I would die from shame. The Greatest Lestat is book rat.- I rolled eyes and shook head.- No way, I won't be book rat, it's shameful.- but took her hand and kissed it.- Let's go for a walk for sure. I want to clear my head and relax from everything that happened ...now....
Isabella held me by the waist:
- Book rat? Ohh no no no.- she giggled and tapped my nose and walked with me.- I'd like you to read for me...- she blushed hidding her cheeks, turning face away then looked back on me.- I'd love that.- she smiled.- What can I possibly do to make my marquis relax...hmmm?- she thought for a moment, suddenly hugged me tight, gave a sweet kiss and ran from me hidding towards the fountain, giggled and shouted.- If you want more, catch me!
- Yeah...I don't want to be book rat....- I sighed deeply and sadly, but she kissed me so suddenly that didn't have time to stop her and watched how she ran away from me. Sighed again and yelled at her:
- I DON'T WANT BE ALONE!!! Why left me here?- I sat on grass and looked where she hid behind the fountain. I was not in a mood for catching or sex. I wanted just calmness.- Well... good. Leave me all, betray me all... I'm nothing for you all....-I picked some grass and looked at it.
- Ahhhhh why are you so?- she shouted from one side of the fountain.- Come here....I thought you wanted more..and you are not Alone!- she came back to me quickly and jumped on me gently.- Ahhhhh always whining, whining boy...
That hurt me and I frowned even getting angry:
- Stop saying that! I'm not Louis for you.- I still played with glass and kept silent not to yell hurting things on her. And I couldn't understand why I became like Louis? I was always so happy and full of energy. Now I became like unhappy filthy rat. So, I crouched and finally laid on grass hugging my knees. No, this time I won't cry. Better show anger, than tears.